When tensions build up, we fight, we cry, then we make up.
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Andre:
Not every one of our videos goes as planned. Hell not even every one of our date weekends goes as planned. This weekend was a true example of how we worked through things as a couple. We started off majorly fighting and then majorly making up. This blog is a little about what lead up to us making this video for MakeLoveNotPorn. If you are not a patron of ours, you can watch the video for a one time fee on the previous link.
We had planned for a wonderful weekend getaway for us.
Food, nice hotel, and no kiddo to interrupt our thoughts. Cameras- check. Outfits- check. Cumpanions– check. Lube- check. Vibrators- check. Right mental mindset as a couple… missing.
I don’t even remember how it started, but prior to packing our vehicle to travel, Lynn and I had gotten into a little tiff. A little fight usually has some deeper source of frustration or hurt that gets acted out in micro aggressions that end up leading to a major hurt. I was on the verge of a major hurt. I remember us fighting as we were packing the car. It got ugly.
In typical fashion, I shut down the conversation by just going silent. This is what I do, and it’s bad. I know that Lynn is a communicator and that’s how she works, so the most aggressive weapon I had in this fight was to not engage and not talk.
We went almost 2 hours in the car without a word being spoken and no music on.
Lynn:
I had been looking forward to getting away with Andre and generally speaking, traveling with each other is so easy. We love getting away, exploring new places and enjoying each other’s company. But this particular weekend started out on the wrong foot, as they say, and after a two hour car ride without speaking, it turned from bad to worse. While Andre loves to keep all of his feelings and thoughts inside to internalize and analyze, and is quite happy with himself in that process, I on the other hand, need to verbalize and think out loud just to even figure out how I really think and feel. We are very much the odd couple in that way. And neither are right or wrong ways of processing, but sometimes, our processing difference ends up creating heated exchanges. So for two hours, I processed, internally, which led to fuming, because as a non-internal-processesor, I spent that time second-guessing myself, over thinking, and piling up accusations against Andre and by the end of the trip, my internal feelings were lit on fire.
Andre:
That night at dinner was rough. We were pushing through so many things in our ever changing relationship. The biggest thing was just understanding what was safe to actually share with each other. For all of the years we had been together, communication and trust is something that always needed working on. For me, fear had such ownership over me in sharing my true feelings with Lynn. If I share my real feelings, will she think less of me? Will she want to not engage me anymore sexually? Does she even want to engage me sexually? What if we aren’t the right fit for each other?
So many questions and own insecurities, that it was a major factor into our fight. We had already worked through so many milestones in our faith, but for me, our sexuality was just as big a problem. Lack of desire, being cold towards me physically, and always being comfortable with the same old patterns were eating me up. I wasn’t the best at expressing methods for change without increasing the tension between us.
Lynn:
I was a wreck during dinner. That silent kind of crying while trying to act like I wasn’t crying every time our server came around. I was so overwhelmed with anger, frustration and hurt that I could not dial back my tears. It was awkward and terrible. I felt like we were not understanding each other. That we couldn’t get past our own hurts to not hurt each other more. And when we get to that point, I always fear that we will hit some breaking point that we can get past, which is a huge fear- of losing each other. Eventually I got my shit together enough to have a somewhat productive conversation to figure out what we were really fighting about- Andre’s sense of rejection from me, and my fear of losing him over not being the right sexual fit for him. Really big scary things that continue to be a spot we circle to in our relationship and one we continue to work through.
Andre:
I definitely feel like we came to a better place after dinner. Even though we were both crying at the dinner table. I felt sorry for our wait staff trying to take care of us and not disturbing us at the same time.
We were emotionally exhausted when we got back to the room. Both of our energies were low, and I didn’t really feel like setting up cameras, which is a totally different kind of stress for me. I ended up just pulling out the photo part of my cameras and we took some pictures as we got undressed. We had to get undressed, might as well take some pictures of those moments.
In typical expectations, the combo of us taking pictures and getting naked, we got turned on. We naturally moved towards some light touching and teasing. I didn’t want the pressure of having to set up cameras for both of us, so we just pulled out our favorite little bullet vibe, and I just filmed Lynn enjoying that little Vesper of a vibe from crave vibrators.
The time together was enjoyable and orgasmic. Lynn orgasmed and simply passed out from the stress relief from that moment and the overall stress from that day. I got in bed beside her and promptly fell asleep.
Lynn:
A good orgasm is such great stress relief. And I love sleeping after an orgasm, much less a stress relief one! So after passing out and getting a good night’s sleep, I had a much better perspective on life and on us the following morning. Always good to have hope. I mean, for us, we often have to have really ugly fights for us to get the root of what we are both really upset about and once we get there, we can work back to really hear and see and understand each other. And then we ultimately realize there is too much at stake to walk away from one another and we realize how deep our love really runs. It is not perfect, it is not always pretty, but it is there and it is beautiful, even with all the hurts along the way.
Andre:
The morning was slow going and enjoyable. I woke up with the sun, took a couple minutes to set up the cameras while Lynn slept. Nothing like ruining a mood by having to set up gear to capture that mood.
That mood was frisky. When Lynn woke up, we enjoyed those early morning kisses and touches. We made up for all the shit we had put each other through the day before.
There is nothing like make-up sex.
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